Tuesday, 6 November 2007

I am not too sure I can remember.......

......how this conversation started up a few weeks ago but i do remeber that it came from a certain Mr CK.

It started with a comment(I am paraphrasing somewhat here)that the inside of the new Mini is very nice and apparently all the production of a human man's reproductive fluid (!)would fill it up. Now i am not saying that all the conversation at WNC falls witin the same bounds as this but the topic has carried for a weeks or so and another WNC member has e-mailed me a thought/solution/rebuttal to the claim/sick and twisted thought. Lets call him Alfred.

Hey Shaan -

I write (...) to tell you that I woke up the other morning to find that I had solved the Ministurbation calculation. Funny how the brain works, isn't it?


imagine that PLH (let's be honest, only PLH is going to try) masturbates into a Mini once a day from the age of 18 until he's 70. That's 19,345 ejaculations at a generous average of 10 cubic centimetres a go.

(Incidentally, did you know that that's where the band 10cc is supposed to have got its name? That's also - allegedly - the origin of The Lovin' Spoonful, if you're interested. Also if you aren't.)

Anyhoo: that makes 193,450 ml, or a bit under 200 litres.

"Heavens!" I hear you cry. And, after a moment's pause, "But wait! That may be a lot of the white stuff, but it isn't going to fill a Mini, is it?" And you'd be dead right. I have no idea what the cubic capacity of a Mini is, but it's surely a load (ahem) more than that. Indeed, the *boot* of a new Mini is 150 litres. So you'd fill the boot (well, PLH would) but not much more than that.

Incidentally, also whilst asleep I calculated that, on the entirely made-up assumption that semen is 20% more dense than water, the total volume would weigh in at about a quarter of a tonne.

I knew you'd be thrilled.

I hope that this will clarify any and all other thoughts on the subject.

See you all soon.